Do You Have a Vision for Your Life?
This is post #5 in my blog series called “Uncovering Our Blind Spots in Life and Business.” By reflecting on my own experiences, my goal is to help you uncover aspects of your personality, behavior, emotions, and intellect that harbor unconscious biases that obstruct your perspectives or influence how you see yourself and others. You can read past articles here.
In the fall of 1979, after I graduated high school, I accepted a job through a “blind ad” in the employment section of the newspaper. It read something like this: “You can earn up to $600 per week. We will train you how to do so.” It piqued my interest, so I went for the job interview and found out the job was selling vacuum cleaners door to door or however you got your leads—family, friends, etc.
After about a month of trying to sell these $1,200 vacuum cleaners to the average person, it was not working. One of the components of the vacuum cleaner was the ability to shampoo carpets as well. So, often we were trained to lead with that aspect of an all-in-one vacuum cleaner and carpet shampooer. We would run a shampoo test on a section of the carpet and most people would be impressed, but they now wanted me to shampoo their entire carpet and not just one spot.
After a few weeks of working for the company, I recruited my older brother to join me in selling the vacuum cleaners. We would be a mighty team working together! It was nearing Thanksgiving and people were getting their houses ready for family and guests to come over. So, my brother and I came up with the bright idea of starting a carpet cleaning business with our new multifunction vacuums. With Christmas coming in December, we would give it a good try, and we were off and running with our carpet cleaning company.
We walked into the perfect market niche and were very successful for two months, then January came and no one wanted their carpets cleaned. So, in January we gave thought to what was compatible with cleaning carpets and arrived at a full-service maintenance and janitorial company as our new venture. It took us a while, but we built up a good residential base of clients and eventually expanded into the commercial market. Within a few years, we had approximately 50 employees working on 2-3 commercial sites and we were bringing in an annual revenue of over $500,000/year.
I was 18 years old when we started the business, and I envisioned by the time I was 30 years old I would be a millionaire. I was married in 1981 and we began our family right away, so that fueled my desire to be a millionaire by 30. But in 1985, our dreams were crushed when we had to close the business due to a federal tax liability of over $30,000 that we owed to the IRS after it was discovered that our bookkeeper had embezzled money. We were totally unaware until it was too late. In reality, I had a true blind spot in trusting a person that we did not vet in advance of hiring him. We were warned by a professional accountant that we did not need the bookkeeper’s services and we could track our own expenses and receipts at our level of business, but that is something that we chose not to do. smh!
Because my brother and I were co-owners of the business, we were personally liable for the loss. I’ll share the details of our loss and recovery in another story. But for this account, I want you to know the vision for my life, which I based my future on, was down the drain.
At some point in time, many of us have thought about accomplishing something we consider significant or a great feat in life. We envision ourselves standing on a platform receiving an award or honor for being the best at something. While that initial thought may be a driving force for some of us, for others it’s a fleeting fantasy with no real value other than feeling good in the moment. Another blind spot for me was placing all my eggs in one basket instead of pursuing multiple income streams to accomplish my goal of becoming a millionaire. When things outside of my control happened, that drowned my hope for the future, and I was lost.
My advice to you: – Reflect on what’s fueling your passions and vision for your life. Do you get wise counsel to help understand how to achieve what’s in your head or do you just dream of a better day with no real plan of accomplishment?
I highly suggest that we do not try to build our future lives on “shifting sand” or a “pipe dream.” Talk with someone wiser than you who has “receipts/papers” of evidence and has accomplished things you are trying to achieve. We do ourselves a disservice when we try to figure things out on our own—that is a major blind spot. But it can be avoided if we seek help and assistance from other qualified people who have been there and done that.
Please learn from my blind spot of trying to become successful with no track record of how to get it done or back up plan if things fail.
Your thoughts and comments on this blog are Welcomed and Desired. If you feel the content of this blog is valuable, please share it with your friends and network. With Gratitude!
- WES
We don’t see what we don’t see! We don’t know what we don’t know! Therefore, we cannot change the things in our lives that could propel us to the next level!
This is post #1 in my blog series called “Uncovering Our Blind Spots in Life and Business.” Please stay tuned for more. I hope this series will inspire you to see yourself from another perspective that maybe you have not previously seen before. Also, the goal is to help us improve who we are in life and business and to achieve new heights in our personal and professional development.
To be fully transparent (no pun intended), I lost sight in my right eye in 2008 due to a detached retina that happened over time. No accident or injury caused the detached retina. It was years of delaying an instructed visit to an ophthalmologist because I was so “busy.” My lack of attention to getting my eyes checked by a specialist (Ophthalmologist) as I was instructed to do, caused irreparable damage to my sight.
Although I had one of the best surgeons in the area perform the eye surgery, I have been unable to regain sight in my eye to this day. This has obviously impaired my peripheral vision. I had to learn how to adjust my actions to accommodate the loss of sight. I have literally bumped my head on occasions when I failed to remember to back up and look before moving. Although I have lost partial physical sight, I continue to gain insight into myself year after year.
This newfound awareness is what this blog series, “Uncovering Blind Spots in Life and Business” is all about. But what are blind spots, you ask? Here’s my definition: Blind Spots are aspects of our personality, behaviors, actions, emotions, and intellect harboring unconscious biases that obstruct our perspectives or influence how we see ourselves and others.
I believe blind spots are a universal problem that can have a significant impact if not addressed. Yet, I am unaware of any university or college that educates extensively on this topic. We are all aware of self-improvement courses, workshops, and conferences that cover a myriad of subjects to help our personal advancement.
For the record, I am not a Subject Matter Expert (SME) on this topic, but I have garnered years of wisdom and knowledge about blind spots that have helped me become a better person. So why not share these findings and experiences with my brothers and sisters and help you invest in areas that we all struggle with — sometimes unknowingly?
Combatting Blind Spots
The easy solution for uncovering blind spots is to have people in our lives whom we trust—and are sometimes honest to a fault—tell us what we don’t want but need to hear. Another, perhaps more difficult answer, is being vulnerable and honest enough with ourselves to accept their feedback and make corrections that will improve some aspect of our lives.
We’ll delve into these solutions and more along this journey of Uncovering Blind Spots in Life and Business. Keep reading to see if you can relate, or not, to some of life’s most common, but challenging situations. Then maybe we can become more than the status quo and change the man or woman in the mirror!
Your thoughts and comments on this blog are Welcomed and Desired. If you feel the content is valuable, please share it with your friends and network. With Gratitude!
- WES
We don’t see what we don’t see! We don’t know what we don’t know! Therefore, we cannot change the things in our lives that could propel us to the next level!
My Big Reveal After 25 Years of Marriage
My wife and I have been married now for over 40 years. The year after we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary we were about to get a divorce. In our 26th year of marriage, it all came to a head. We worked together at the same company during the day and were very cordial at work, but in the evenings when we came home, we were living separate lives and barely speaking to each other. We slept in separate bedrooms while our daughter was away at college, but if she came home for a weekend stay, we would sleep in the same bedroom at night. It was horrible living and nearly separated us for life.
It took this level of damage to our marriage for me to look introspectively at myself and identify a blind spot that I justified for years that was causing my wife to hate me—and rightfully so. At work and in the public eye, I was one of the nicest and easiest-going people you could come in contact with. What I realized is that there was even an associate at work who I really didn’t care for. But that person would have never known it from our interactions. I was always willing to assist and coordinate with them regarding most matters.
For years, I felt it was necessary to carry on this persona in public, but I could “release” and be the “real me” once I got home. The “real me” meant if I didn’t like something I would say it without holding back any thought or consideration of how I said it to my wife. I didn’t have to put on an air at home of being nice if I wasn’t feeling it. My wife would often say, “You don’t speak to other people the way you speak to me.” Although I knew she was right, I ignored it because, at home, I was “King” and could do as I pleased.
Once I realized the “real me” was destroying our marriage and I was the cause, I knew I needed to change. In tears, I apologized to my wife for the years of disrespect I caused her and agreed to begin showing unconditional love to the person whom I loved and who was closest to me. It took time for her to trust that I was for real and not just playing a role. I agreed to getting outside help, which she said I needed all along, but I denied because I thought nothing was wrong with me. But I finally realized that I needed it to save our marriage.
Combatting Blind Spots
Uncovering a blind spot that I ignored for years was a turning point in my life that helped save our marriage—and as I said, we are now 40+ years in and living a healthier life and marriage than ever before.
While it pains me to write about my dysfunction, the truth is that it was there all along and I chose to ignore a very blatant behavior I exhibited every day.
My advice to you: Take a deep dive and discover what you really do not like about yourself. Maybe there is someone who has been hinting at it to you, but you kept looking the other way.
Ask your closest friend to be honest with you and tell you what it looks like to be on the other side of you. Be prepared to take some hits or bruises but it is a good exercise to see how others see you vs. how you see yourself.
If you don’t have that true friend or associate, consider engaging a therapist to assist you in uncovering your blind spots. It is an investment in yourself that may pay dividends if you are open, honest to a fault, and can accept constructive criticism. Please learn from my mistake of not doing self-introspection on yourself before things get out of control.
Your thoughts and comments on this blog are Welcomed and Desired. If you feel the content of this blog is valuable, please share it with your friends and network. With Gratitude!
- WES
We don’t see what we don’t see! We don’t know what we don’t know! Therefore, we cannot change the things in our lives that could propel us to the next level!
Integrity is What You Do When No One is Watching
This is post #4 in my blog series called “Uncovering Our Blind Spots in Life and Business.” By reflecting on my own experiences, my goal is to help you uncover aspects of your personality, behavior, emotions, and intellect that harbor unconscious biases that obstruct your perspectives or influence how you see yourself and others. You can read past articles here.
I recall working on a government proposal when WordPerfect was the predominant word-processing software. I was just learning it and somehow I lost part of the content that I was working on and could not get it to recover.
I tried everything I knew, yet unsuccessful. So the next day when we had to review the proposal, I lied and said I had no clue what happened to the missing paragraph. Early in my professional career, I would hide or not disclose any mistakes or errors I made because I felt it would negatively reflect how my supervisor viewed me. I always wanted to be viewed in a positive light and wanted a great performance evaluation for my work. So, if I was asked about something incorrect or askew, I would plead the fifth and say I didn’t know what happened or how it happened or someone else must have done the thing. Essentially, I would lie to cover my own butt.
Of course, I would feel guilty for lying but I felt the other recourse would bring on the wrath of my supervisor and I certainly didn’t want that. My fear was if I was not perfect in my job, I would be demoted or, worse, fired. And I had a family to support.
Somehow, I justified my lies for the greater good. I’m sure very few people suffered from this blind spot or at least won’t admit it publicly!
I remember being confronted by an associate on a matter that I was responsible for and during the same season, I was being taught the value of integrity in my life and I chose integrity over continuing to hide and lie. I learned the hard lesson of the value of integrity was too often a missing component in life. The benefit of telling the truth far outweighed telling a lie. I learned the practice of taking ownership of my mistakes and, most often, I was rewarded or at least esteemed for telling the truth.
Most importantly for me, I took on the mantel that true integrity is always doing what is right when no one is watching. Even when no one else may know or uncover my error, it is more important for me to be honest with myself and not try to cover it up.
Imagine a pilot who is landing an airplane in a heavy fog or mist. With low visibility, most people can’t see what is happening in the surrounding area, but the pilot must still be guided by their principles and training. Likewise, I let my personal principles govern me when no one else is watching.
My advice to you: Please learn from my blind spot of lying or being deceitful about your mistakes. You will feel better, and even if you are not rewarded for telling the truth, you can live honestly with yourself and not be ashamed.
Your thoughts and comments on this blog are Welcomed and Desired. If you feel the content of this blog is valuable, please share it with your friends and network. With Gratitude!
- WES
We don’t see what we don’t see! We don’t know what we don’t know! Therefore, we cannot change the things in our lives that could propel us to the next level!